12.29.13

Breakfast: 4 cinnamon rolls and 2% milk
Lunch: A double cheeseburger and fries from The Varsity in ATL
Dinner: Progresso Baked Potato Soup

New Years Resolution

I've had my New Years resolution ready for the past four months. Which sounds dumb because why wait four months instead of just going for it. As bizarre as that sounds, you'll be happy to know I used those four months for practice and I now feel ready to dive in head first.

2014 Resolution: read more, talk less

In essence, this entire blog conflicts with my resolution. Because blogging = talking, and I'm trying to do less of that. In addition, I am trying to read more, but I don't think it counts if I'm just continuously reading my own stuff for proofing purposes.

So the only way to flip this on itself and make this blog facilitative rather than counter intuitive is to talk about what I've read in a very concise manner. Which I think is a good goal for personal development purposes.

I love communication. It's my thing. I love texting, talking, messaging, emailing. Strangers, family, old friends, new friends - it doesn't matter. I like to talk and I will do it with whoever. Right now I am basically dying because my phone has been silent for over an hour and I spent all day driving alone in a car for 12 hours. That basically just means I'm an extrovert.

But I'm learning that an important phase of maturity for the extrovert is the one where they realize, though words are fun, they are valuable. And sometimes the best way to enhance their value is not by using them more, but by using them less.

I also think reading is a great way to exercise listening skills. Extroverts usually aren't the best at listening. I like to think I'm a fairly good listener despite being an extrovert, but I like Ke$ha so I can't trust myself... I think reading at it's core is a great method for pursuing knowledge and understanding through comprehension and critical thinking. In other words, you have to hear and think about what the author is saying; you have to listen.

In 2014 I want to read more and talk less. I think this will help to enhance the value of my words and teach me to be a better listener. I also think there are other great things/lessons that will be learned through this resolution and I'm looking forward to sharing them on here! In a very concise manner of course...

I'm open to book recommendations. Tweet me @Ace2TheFace! The list I'm planning on reading so far is below. I'm not really into anything heavy yet so don't judge me for enjoying the light simple stuff, capisce?

1) 7: How Many Days Of The Week Can Be Extraordinary
2) Love Does (started in 2013, need to finish)
3) Prodigal God (also started in 2013, need to finish)
4) Punch Fear In The Face
5) The Principle Of The Path
6) The Best Question Ever

12.17.13

Breakfast: Toast and Jelly
Lunch: Sour Patch Kids
Dinner: Cheese Fries from Outback Steakhouse

Nobody likes you when you're 23

Blink 182 said it best and buzzfeed recently echoed it: http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/every-year-of-your-20s-ranked-from-worst-to-best

The other day I turned 24. My brother and I joked that he can finally actually like me now instead of "pretending" to like me. I hadn't really given it a thought all year long because typically I'd consider myself a fairly likable person, but in the last month of my 23rd year I started putting it all together.

December 17, 2012, a year ago today, I walked into a small office in Nashville, TN for a job interview. I walked out of that office with a new career, a new future, and a new life. I had been 23 for two days and already this year was shaping up to be the most life changing one yet. In the two weeks that followed, I would end a serious relationship, say goodbye to a place called "home" and move to a new city where I knew approximately 3 people. Nothing will bring you to tears more than pulling out of a driveway that you've left a hundred thousand times before, but realizing that for the first time you are actually leaving. It's rare to experience a moment in life so definitive.

It's nothing short of an adventure, 23.

Now that I'm older and at the wiser, more mature age of 24 ;)  let me sum the age of 23 up for you in one word… ready?

decisions

Here's why nobody likes you when you're 23. It's because nobody's supposed to like you. 23 is about making decisions, life altering decisions. And when decisions of that magnitude have to be made you can't afford to be considerate of others. And when you're not considering others, nobody is going to like you. 

It sounds more terrible than it is because I'm breaking it down to the bare bones. It's not like all 23 year olds are sitting around consciously being inconsiderate. People that are consciously inconsiderate are more than just 23 year olds, they're cotton headed ninny muggins. But being 23 is challenging because you're not quite sure where you fit. You're still freshly removed from college, but you're not fully adjusted to this new life of adult-esque responsibility. All you know is that you have to figure stuff out. And that "stuff" looks different for everybody.

For me, I turned 23 and immediately had to decide one thing - to sleep or to live? Cause there's only one way that dreams become a reality. And that turned out to look a lot like sacrifice. Sacrifice of relationships, comfort, familiarity, stability, community, 7/11 slurpees, and the list goes on. I can promise you that when you sacrifice a relationship, people are NOT going to like you. But what a blessing it is to have the chance to live a dream? So you go for it, you don't let that chance pass you by because it may never come again. And that's the decision you make when you're 23.

That's why nobody likes you. Because you're the guy that left everything in the dust to try and make something of yourself. To try and figure yourself out. Sure people tell you they're proud of you and happy for you. But on those weekends when it gets tough and lonely, and you literally scroll through your entire contact list that's now full of area codes miles and miles away, making call after call that only lead to voicemails, you really start to believe that nobody likes you. You think of all the people you left behind and how that probably made them feel. Hurt. You think of how you're probably missing out on everything. Excluded. You become addicted to social media and the vicarious friendships it provides for you. False acceptance. You hit a place you didn't think you'd ever have to deal with. Distance. And that's when you realize that this is not only the consequence of the decision that you made, but that this is also an important character building phase of life.

When you're 23 and you're having to make life altering decisions without really knowing who you are, you need a weekend where you feel like nobody likes you. You need to hear voicemail after voicemail. You need to think you are missing out. Why? Because it challenges you. It takes you to a place that teaches you the value of experiences both good and bad. It makes you grow.

I'm not trying to get into heavy stuff here. If anything, I'm just rambling out loud for myself. But to anyone who isn't 23 yet, I basically want to assure you that all of this is good and important. The whole thing. The nobody liking you thing, the making decisions thing. All of it. Because when you finally turn 24 you realize the reason no one was answering your calls was because they were all busy being distressed 23 year olds too ;)

Moral of the story is that nobody likes you when you're 23 and that that's ok. They're not supposed to like you. You are supposed to like you. You are supposed to make decisions that take you to a place where you can live instead of sleep. Because at the end of the day being 23 is actually a luxury. It's a time when God speaks and you get to not only listen, but do. So sacrifice without hesitating because it's all worth it. 

Cause, I mean, some people have been liked their whole lives, and where's the fun in that?

9.27.13

Breakfast - Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Skipped lunch
Dinner - Jason's Deli Chicken Alfredo Pasta

One of my small group members said something this past Wednesday that really got me thinking...

"It's sometimes really hard to encourage people."

That's a simple statement, but for some reason it got me thinking in a way I never have before. Usually that statement gets said from an internal perspective. From a place where one feels personally discouraged by their inability to adequately express appreciation to another person.

But for the first time I realized that it can be difficult to encourage others because some people don't receive encouragement well.

Why is that?

Why has our culture, specifically my generation, shifted to this mentality that "humility" means not accepting encouragement, compliments or positive feedback? That's not humility at all...

We really have to get better at accepting encouragement. It takes the joy away and undermines the encourager, which quite frankly is just rude. It's ok to celebrate and take credit when we've done something right. Time to start acknowledging the efforts of encouragers, accepting their compliments, thanking them and returning the favor.

We can do it guys! I believe in you!

(that's me encouraging you guys... accept it... embrace it... ;)