2.25.14

Breakfast - Frosted Flakes
Lunch - Turkey and Cheese
Dinner - Taco Tuesday at Judge Beans BBQ. I ate 5 tacos with french fries and mac & cheese

Sweet Dreams

I have a dog named Regan. She's a year and a half old Weimaraner. Say that three times fast. The first time we met she was 10 days old and fit in the palm of my hand. Nowadays she's a little bit bigger, but she's still actually very small for her breed. A true runt. Which is perfect cause she's kind of like an eternal puppy. It's the best.

I fell in love with Weimaraners growing up watching Sesame Street. An artist named William Wegman is famous for photographing these dogs and creating short films where he dresses them up like people or gets them to pose in funny shapes. Some of these videos ended up on Sesame Street and taught me how to count and learn my ABC's. And honestly, because of those films I just always wanted one for myself. I told myself growing up that when I was finally old enough to have my own dog, I would get a Sesame Street dog. So I did.

I wasn't ignorant or naive. When I told people I wanted a Weimaraner they always gave me a funny look and said, "You know those dogs are crazy, right?" And I would always say, "Yes, but I still want one." And even after I got one people would say, "Oh no, do you know what you just got yourself into?" and I would say, "Yes, I'm not an idiot, I did my research."

Weimaraners are notorious for being high energy, high strung, having extreme separation anxiety, being mischievous and just overall rambunctious. Regan is all of these things. But it's a blast! Most people don't have the patience for it, but I do. She's crazy and I love her. I love crazy.

When I finally brought her home I didn't know what to name her. I finally had to decide when I took her to the vet for the first time and they needed to make an official record. I'm very glad I named her Regan. It's a beautiful name, especially for an elegant female such as herself. However, there's one other name I almost gave her and from time to time I still call her it.

I got Regan during a very interesting time in my life. It was a time when anxiety trumped dreaming. I was finishing up school and I truly had no idea what was coming next. Most people would advise you to not get a dog until you're in a stable place. I said screw it and just did the thing anyway. And hey, it worked out. Going back to when I first held this 10 day old puddle of love in my hands, I knew she was the one because she was at ease. Every other puppy in the litter that I held would cry and wine and squirm. But Regan just nuzzled up next to me and went to sleep, dreaming sweet puppy dreams. And that's how I knew she was the one. Likewise, the day I picked her up from the breeder in Thomasville I drove her straight to Tampa to show her to my parents. She slept the whole drive there, dreaming sweet puppy dreams.

To me, dreaming sweet dreams is what life is all about. My mom used to say, "Sweet dreams" to me every night before I went to bed. It's kind of a life motto. When I was in high school I took Spanish and one of our exercises was to write Spanish poetry. I wrote a poem called "Buenos Suenos." Suenos is spanish for dreams. So I wanted to name this beautiful, sweetly dreaming puppy "Sway", short for suenos. 

I know that's a dumb sounding name, which is why I obviously didn't name her that. But every now and again I call her Sway Rey, cause I need to call her that. Because she came into my life during a time when it was important to ignore the anxiety that comes from not knowing what's next, and to instead dream sweet dreams. I call her Sway Rey when I need to remind myself to dream sweet dreams.

Dreams are important. I haven't done much dreaming in the past year, mainly because reality has been better than my dreams. But I looked at my beautiful, sweetly dreaming Sway Rey the other day and I realized it's time to start dreaming again. Cause when dreams come true you don't stop dreaming, you don't settle into contentment. You say, "Wow. That's incredible. God just showed me how big he really is. And I think he has even more up his sleeve. Let's go big or go home."

Dream sweet dreams.

2.20.14

Breakfast- Blueberry Poptarts

Lunch- Turkey and Cheese

Dinner- Popeyes chicken (heyo!)

No More "Work"

I think I'm going to try and remove the word "work" from my vocabulary. "Work" just has a certain connotation to it these days that I don't agree with. Like its a chore or something to be dreaded. I understand that for most people this is the case. But I am not most people.

Work for me is pure privilege. A luxury. I wake up every morning and live the dream. I don't go to work, I go live life. I make a difference. That's the perspective and attitude I'm choosing. Similar to how my friend Pope encourages us to love Mondays.

Some people really do understand "work" and that's the kind I'm ok with. The kind that is usually preceded by the word "hard." But I still want to find a better way to communicate this. Cause I think eliminating "hard work" from your vocabulary forces you to be more intentional and detailed in describing effort. Focus, discipline, dedication, determination, resiliency, consistency, etc.

"Hey man, what do you got going on this week?"

The answer to this question is all about attitude and perspective. Do you have chores to handle or do you have privileges to take advantage of?

2.15.14

Breakfast - 4 eggo waffles
Lunch - a bottle of Orange Juice
Dinner - I'm craving Zaxby's so I'll probably go get a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich with crinkle-cut french fries and a Mr. Pibb

I bought a lotto ticket today.

I love playing the lottery. I don't play often, but I do play. My rule is that anytime the Powerball jackpot goes over 200 million I'll buy a ticket. I'm not too particular on whether it's a quick pick or my own numbers. The chances are all the same anyway so what does it matter?

Every time I buy a ticket I play the game that we all play, "What would I do with millions of dollars??" You tell yourself that you'd buy houses and cars for your family, travel all over the world and, of course, give lots of it away to charity and stuff. You always end up in this dream world where you really talk yourself into believing that you're really going to win. You're meant for this. I mean, you just mentally committed to giving 50% of you winnings away to charity because you believe in being a good steward. How could God not want you to win?! It's a great game to play.

I probably spend around $50 annually on lotto tickets. I had a friend once tell me that rather than playing the lotto I should just give him the $50 and at the end of the year he'd give me $13. He said it would be a better return on my investment than just pissing away my money. And though, from an investment perspective he is probably right, I can't help but disagree entirely.

When I buy a lotto ticket I'm not buying a $2 chance at millions of dollars. I'm buying entertainment; the thrill and mental stimulation that comes from asking the question, "What would I do with millions of dollars?" I usually buy lotto tickets when I'm on long and tired road trips because the excitement of that question is enough to keep me awake at the wheel. Cause the answer is always changing... except for cars of course. I definitely would buy lots of cars. The first thing I would do is catch a flight to the west coast, buy a red refurbished 1958 Chevy Apache and take a road trip back across the country. That would be the first thing I would do. The second thing? No idea… 

Oh wait, the first thing I would do would be to donate 50% of my money of course. Gotta be a good steward ;) Jesus comes before cars (<-- Lord, please pick me!)

I guess buying a lotto ticket is like buying a ticket to the movies. You're looking for a brief escape from reality into dreamland. You don't actually ever go and live there, but you visit when you need a smile on your face. And while my friend thinks this is dumb and would prefer to just net $37 off of me, I think it's fun and harmless. I am happy to spend $50 a year on day dreams and something that second handedly supports education… and stuff… I guess

Go buy a lotto ticket

2.3.14 GUEST BLOG

First official guest blog by my best friend Pope! Follow him @Popealope!
                                                                       

Breakfast: 4 piece chicken minis
Lunch: cold cut on honey oat
Dinner: salad, chicken and rice

I Love Mondays

By this point, you probably have given up on your New Year's resolution. America loves New Year's resolutions. Memorial Days, Holidays, Vacation Days, Sick Days, Weekends, and celebrations are what keeps our nation going. Five days of work, you say? Too much! My two day weekend is hardly enough time!

We are also a generation (18-35 year olds) that are especially lazy. St Patricks Day is a celebration for non-Irish for reasons we don't know. Valentine's Day was created by Hallmark. We rest on Labor Day, of all ironies. 

We deserve vacations, road trips, and escapes, more so than the one day Sabbath.

Don't get me wrong; I am guilty of this as well. I strive very hard to be a hard worker but still fall short of the ideal of what "hard worker" really means. All this ties in to a notion of being unable to keep a resolution. It's only February, and many feel shackled with 364 dates that are NOT January 1st.

I'm here to tear the veil for millions; you can make a resolution every day. As a matter of fact, famous theologian Jonathan Edwards read through a list of resolutions every morning to start his day. "Resolved, I will...", was a commonplace in the early dawn, reminding himself to follow through on character traits and action habits that he wanted to define him.

My generation in 2014 is doubly behind the curve with American culture being augmented by crippling parenting. Toss in a side of invulnerability and selfishness that all 20-somethings fall into, and the future doesn't seem so bright. Not to mention complaining seeming like a normal, day to day exercise.

Here's the big tip to relieve all these problems: Mondays. 

Yes, I said it. Mondays. Today, you spent all day complaining. 

The weekend was so short! How can it already be time to work? When is our next holiday? What do I have to look forward to so I can get through this week?

Mondays hold the key to all these problems, as well as understanding how Americans behave. Knowing that Americans need some "special day" to get stuff done, let that day be Monday. I mean, how much better does it get? The start of a new week, five days to reinforce a decision, fresh beginnings and time for people (including you) to forget how last week didn't quite work out. 

Splitting resolutions into weeks can have a snow ball effect on positive steps forward, breaks things up into manageable chunks, and leaves opportunity to continue on last week's decision or start a new one!

Thinking about the gym in terms of a year can be daunting. Yeah, so can thinking about how many hours of my life I'll have used brushing my teeth; hours I can't cash back in on my death bed. 

"For two more days, I'll have no teeth!"

Humanism is an unavoidable reality. Let's use it to our advantage rather than our excuse.

Say it with me, "I love Mondays"

2.2.14

Breakfast: two blueberry pop tarts

Lunch: McDougals fried chicken

Dinner: Standard SuperBowl party snacks (which includes but is not limited to): chips & queso, fried chicken, pigs in a blanket, brownies and some other baked goods of "homemade" origins

iBreak Update

A week ago I deleted the Twitter and Facebook app from my phone. I still tweet and I still go on Facebook, just not on my phone. This has been a great thing for me.

The first few days were really challenging. But it got easier. And now, even though it's only been a week, it's a great thing. I'm a safer driver, I'm a better listener, I make eye contact and my attitude has improved. I know this all sounds dramatic and premature considering it's only been a week, but the pros are thoroughly outweighing the cons. So I really hope I keep up with this.

Tonight was possibly the best SuperBowl I've watched in 3 years. Mainly because I enjoyed the company of humans rather than the company of my phone. But also because I didn't feel the pressure of having to keep up with culture; the tweets about cool commercials, witty remarks about the halftime show, and apparently some hashtag about esurance and winning money or something?

It helped me realize the kind of value I had placed on something so intangible. Over the past year I've faced a lot of changes, and I think I really began to lean on social media as a constant to hold on to in this ever changing reality. Each new day may have brought uncertainty, but an updated timeline kept me plugged into a world full of "friends" that gave me "comfort." Over time this developed into something unhealthy. And as things settled, life began to offer me opportunities to take the changes in my reality and turn them into valuable experiences, but I ignored them just so I could maintain a hold on a very false sense of security.

It's kind of liberating, loosening my grasp. Again, I'm fully aware that it's only been a week, so I'm not trying to talk about this from the perspective of a wise old addict who's kicked the drug and now knows the meaning of life. But I am trying to reflect on how stepping back from everything this week has given me a new point of view on where the boundary with social media and intangible relationships should be drawn. Value needs to be placed on the real and on the present, not on the intangible.

There are people that walk in and out of my world everyday. Real people. People with stories full of hardships and triumphs. And if I'm smart enough, I will put away my phone and recognize my privilege to take advantage of the opportunity to get to know these people and add value to their stories by encouraging and celebrating their realities with them.

Enjoy the intangible but value the real, value the present.

P.S. excited to announce that the first ever Guest Blog for The Offensive Appetite is in the works! My best friend Pope has something unique and humorously intriguing in store for you guys so stay tuned.