1.23.15

Breakfast - 2 frosted blueberry poptarts
Lunch - leftover pot roast (homemade, cause Oooo I'm domestic)
Dinner - TBD


My Friend Cynicism

I just went through my list of blog ideas/topics that I've been keeping for well over a year and I was disappointed in myself. There are plenty of fantastic ideas, but I found that most were all very rooted in cynicism.

A few examples:

-Trendy names I don't trust

-Why I don't like photography

-Eternal post-summercamp-depression

-Nashville: a city of broken hearts

I've been battling cynicism all my life. And I will continue to battle it for the rest of my life. One of the biggest challenges in battling cynicism is identifying the source that encourages the behavior. In my case, it's been very rare that I am able to identify the source immediately. It's usually not until a few months have past and close friends or coworkers of mine point out that my attitude has changed, that I become aware of what's going on.

Remember when you were 12? Middle School. Oh yeah, the embarrassing years. And you started to make more friends at school who you wanted to hangout with on Friday night at the mall/movies. Your parents would let you go for the first couple of weeks but eventually they began to notice that your attitude was changing, and that you started treating them a certain way depending on who you had been hanging out with. "I don't think I like that Adam friend of yours. I can always tell when you've been hanging around that Adam."

That's what cynicism is for me. It's this friend that I catch myself hanging out with that affects all other areas of my life. And you know what? He's a friend I could really do without. My memories are sweeter without him. My interactions with strangers are more pleasant without him. My thirst for learning more about the world and pursuing knowledge is stronger when he's not there telling me I'm a know-it-all.

I'd like to wrap this up by saying that I'm kicking my friend cynicism to the curb, but the truth is he always finds a way back in, and I don't want to set myself up for failure. So instead I'm going to work more on identifying the source of my cynicism, and being mindful of pursuing healthy ways to deal with it and counter its' affects. If my cynicism friend starts hanging around, I'm going to try and introduce him to my friend Patience. Maybe Patience will teach him that everyone deserves their turn. Or maybe I could introduce him to my friend Perspective. Maybe Perspective can teach him to empathize rather than judge. Or even my friend Joy. Joy is highly contagious and she's pretty resilient too.

Yeah, what they say is true. Choose your friends wisely. Cause there are plenty of better friends to hangout with than cynicism.

1.2.15

Breakfast - two blueberry poptarts
Lunch - Chicken Parmesean
Dinner - Chicken and Rice


Three C's

Resolutions.

Last year about this time I posted my 2014 resolution: read more, talk less. By my standards, I succeeded. I read pretty consistently up until August, and I still talk a lot but I've learned to say less useless stuff (which is probably why I stopped blogging as much these last few months *chuckle, chuckle*). Overall, huge success with my 2014 resolution.

2015 resolution: Cultivate Core Community

Like that alliteration? I know, it's just the right amount of cheesy and the right amount of awesome.

What I've noticed is that I've been in a new city for 2 years now (so I guess it's not technically new anymore), and as an extrovert, I've succeeded in building community. I know people in this town, lots of them, and it's great because when I moved here I knew three. But the downfall of the extrovert (at least this one) is in drawing too much value and self worth from quantity over quality. How many people can I say hi to, not, how many people can I have a meaningful conversation with?

I went back to Florida for the holidays and was blessed to get to spend time with the majority of my lifelong best friends. But things were just different this time. Not in a bad way or a wrong way, but in a way that reaffirmed the unavoidable side effects of distance and time.

The body of Christ is a community, even Jesus had the 12 disciples. In other words, it's demonstrated biblically that humans were built for relationships; with God and with each other. I'm not saying you can force people to be your best friend (even though I'm secretly hoping the Titans draft Jameis Winston and we become BFFAEAE), but you can be more intentional about cultivating those core relationships.

I love my dog, a little too much. But, as much as I hate to admit it, a dog is not a person. So in 2015 I am committed to cultivating a core community.