9.23.13

Breakfast- cinnamon toast crunch

Lunch- Chickfila (tenders, fries and a root beer)

Dinner- chocolate milk and Jeni's ice cream

Everyday God gives me opportunities to take steps towards becoming the person that I want to be.

I'm starting to recognize these opportunities more often because day by day I'm realizing who it is that I want to be.

I want to be a hard worker

I've never been the best at anything. You know how you grow up and think you're good at something? But then you meet someone who's just way better at it than you? That's what fraternities are for. A bro-family full of dudes who are competitive enough and talented enough to remind you that you're not the best at anything. Someone will always be more athletic, smarter, more connected or more involved than you. (But don't get me wrong, I loved being in a fraternity)

I guess for me and this next stage of life, I want to be known as a hard worker. Someone who's conviction and dedication to the task at hand shines through invested effort and the end product. Of course I know I'm not going to be the best at working hard, cause my boss already owns that title. But I am inspired by him daily and challenged to become a leader of my generation in the area of hardwork.

I want to be known professionally as a dependable, hardworking servant. Someone whose reputation of commitment to the task at hand precedes him. Not because of great success and impressive accomplishments, but because of recognizable sincere effort that garners the professional respect and admiration of others.

I want to work hard. So hard that at the end of the game all I have left in the tanks is a smile.

9.15.13

Being selective with love.

I'm not the best with saying the words "I love you." And before you start thinking that you know where this is going, let me reassure you that you don't. This post is not about relationships, young love or commitment issues. Not at all.

I can say "I love you" to my immediate family and that's about it. I can say it to my extended family from time to time, but I don't really see them often or talk to them often so it can be bizarre at times.

I've been working a lot more on telling my true best friends that I love them because I'm beginning to realize how valuable best friends really are in this next phase of life. Growing up there was a huge stigma around guys telling other guys that they love each other. That was called "gay." So then they created "No Homo" which was funny and somewhat bridged the gap but still took away from the true meaning of the phrase.

I think the reason I am so stingy or selective with my love is because I want it to be such a valuable and sincere thing. I don't want to tell everyone in the world that I love them because that would be insincere and untrue. Sure, I'd love to love everyone, but I'm just not capable of it. Imagine if you truly tried loving everyone... Psshh! Exhausting! Have you ever known one of those people that uses those three words entirely too often and it just makes you uncomfortable? Like, I've met you twice and we're just friends and you've already told me you love me... And because of that you can't help but be a little questionable of their sincerity when they say it?

I think I am finally at a place of maturity, though, where I can tell another friend of mine that I love them and they get it. I also think they appreciate hearing it because they're my friends and they know how hard it is for me to say it out loud. So for them, I think they know it means a lot when I say it.

The reason I'm thinking about love right now is because of the sermon tonight. Topic was pride. But this short little segment nailed me to the wall. Pastor Pete spoke about being a people pleaser (which I believe I am). People pleasers are good at being loved but not good at giving love. We typically think that by pleasing others we are showing them love, but that's not the case at all. Instead, we please others to acquire their love but never truly show them the love they deserve.

This one got me. I've been pleasing people, not loving them.

The whole purpose of Christianity is love. Loving the least of these. I call myself a Christian but all I do is please people and hoard my love up. Why can't I love more freely? Why can't I allow myself to truly show love towards people, rather than focus on pleasing them to acquire their love?

The quick lesson here was "learn to love instead of being loved."

My epiphany of the evening lies in allowing God to transform my heart so that I can be the Christian he has called me to be. A Christian that is not selective with his love for fear of being insincere, but is instead fearlessly sincere in unselectively loving others.

I always had this idea that I would save all of my love for my future wife. And I told myself that she would love me more because I saved it all for her. She would feel so special and honored and valued.

Now I realize that's not true. That's not the kind of woman I want to marry. The kind of woman I want to be with is the kind of woman that loves me more because of how much I love others. That puts the life back in me when I am "exhausted" from loving others too much. That makes me a better Christian by enabling me to love others, thus strengthening our relationship with God and our relationship with each other. And because of this we will achieve a level of love far beyond the love I could have ever imagined I would be able to give her by hoarding it all up.

Love wins... but there's so much more to it all.

9.14.13

Breakfast: Chickfila chicken biscuit
Lunch: Cape Cod potato chips
Dinner: Little Caesars deep dish pizza


College Football.

Need I say more?


For me, this is the first college football season I am truly spending away from my alma mater and the truth is: I miss it.

Missing college football and the college atmosphere in general has really caused me to spend too much time reminiscing about my experience with higher education. With all of these thoughts running around and memories being replayed in my head I have come to the conclusion that I have one, and only one, regret. Ready for it?

I regret leaving early.

In every way possible, I regret leaving college early.

In 4 years I accomplished a great deal of education. An amount of education that I easily could have spread across 6 years. So why then did I leave early and only take 4 years? Other than the financial benefit, I don't know. I regret going so fast. I regret leaving early.

Football games and sporting events. 75% of the time I left these events by halftime. Why? Cause it was hot outside, I was lazy, and I probably just wanted to leave and go hangout with my girlfriend. What I would give to take all of those Saturdays back, stay until the end and scream my voice hoarse. I live further north now and am cold, I'm too busy for laziness, and we broke up. I regret leaving early.

Classes and lectures. Of course some of your best memories are made skipping class or ditching out early to go get a head start on the weekend. And some teachers really failed to stimulate my mind, so they sort of deserved to be ditched out on. But others. Others really challenged my thinking. They would stay late after class and say "I'll stick around to answer questions" or "come visit me during office hours"... and I never would. So many missed opportunities to further my education and maximize my intellect. I regret leaving early.

Hangouts and parties with friends. There's a word for this: FOMO. Stands for "Fear Of Missing Out." I do not have FOMO. I am the antithesis of FOMO. Why? Because I believe that I'm a party, so wherever I am is where the most fun is being had. But that doesn't mean that there weren't social gatherings where I should have stayed longer than I did so I could build stronger relationships and really invest in memory making with people who were also in the same stage of life as me. You know, the "I don't know what the heck I'm going to do after college but I guess that can wait cause I'm having so much fun right now" stage. I just imagine all the powerful, deep and meaningful conversations I missed out on having because I was tired from the football game I had already left early that day. I regret leaving early.

In every sense of the statement and it's application to my collegiate career, I regret leaving early. And while at times this regret saddens me, it also serves as an inspiring reminder for how to live right now. Plus, let's face it, this regret is a pretty awesome one to have. I mean, I could be the guy that has extreme "party" related regrets. Instead I'm sitting here pissed because, in my mind, I failed to truly maximize my opportunities, when I actually got more out of college than probably 95% of the students.

But maybe that's the burden of the passionate/involved student. Once you taste the koolaid, your thirst can never be quenched. Once you know how much the university and the collegiate experience have to offer you, enough is never enough. That's probably why so many of my friends stayed in Tally. That's probably why I want to someday get my PhD and become a professor.

I regret leaving early, but perhaps someday I'll come back.

9.3.13

Today I ate a bowl of frosted flakes, chickfila chicken strips, and leftover mac and cheese. I also drank some Publix chocolate milk, cause you should never deny yourself chocolate milk.



I'm starting to realize why I'm blogging. It's because I have thoughts. And because those thoughts matter. Not because they are of great importance or are somehow novel, but because thoughts and the ability to think are special. A true gift from God.

I've spent the past 4 years being very cynical towards people that share too much. Mainly cause I could care less how "perfect" your "G-Little" is. But my appreciation towards sharing is growing (as is my love for the coffee shop culture and all other things trendy or hip). I'm slowly beginning to practically admire the value in all things, no matter how frivolous.

So my toleration for these people who share too much grows because I realize that all they are doing is simply sharing their thoughts. And thoughts matter.

The key is making those thoughts count.

All thoughts matter, but not all thoughts have value that truly make them count.

Now I am nit-picky about how people make their thoughts count. Mainly because I believe thoughts that count are based on a question of motive. Why are you sharing your thought, and why do you think it counts? If you can answer those questions with noble sincerity then your thought probably really counts. If you can't, well then that's why social media status updates exist; for you to share your thought that matters but that probably doesn't count.

"I'm sharing this photo of me in my neon colored bathing suit day drinking at this dubstep-fest with the caption 'Spring Br8kerz lOLz' cause I want the whole world to know how awesome my life is" - I think we all can agree this motive is neither noble nor sincere. This thought matters, but it definitely does not count.

I take this personal theory of thoughts counting as a challenge. A challenge to make sure the words I say and share have true value to them, have true content. Now I know saying that is kind of contradictory considering the purpose of this blog is to share meaningless information about my terrible appetite, but that's a whole different side of the conversation.

The main thing I'm trying to tell myself in this blog post today is that my thoughts matter and that it's up to me to make them count. For the longest time I've lived in this small minded cynical world where I roll my eyes at every heavily opinionated or mind-numbingly-pointless status update; prohibiting myself from ever sharing something like that in order to avoid ever being perceived by my friends as one of "those people."

But all I've done is paralyze myself.

I've convinced myself that my thoughts don't matter and that there is no point in sharing them because nobody truly cares what I have to say. While that may be true, it's a cowardly cop out for staying quiet. For not challenging yourself to think critically about things. When you stay quiet and don't share your thoughts, you stop thinking them altogether. You shut yourself down and become stagnant in any intellectual motion, whether that's forward or backwards. You ultimately fail to maximize your true potential as a thoroughly gifted creature.

It's important to share. No matter how opinionated. No matter how mind-numbingly-pointless. Because thoughts matter. And it's time for me to realize that my thoughts matter and that I need to share them. I need the mental stimulation of challenging myself to create valuable content then exposing that content to the criticism and feedback of others. Because how else do we move forward in the pursuit of maximizing our knowledge and self development? If we don't share because we think we are too cool to share, or because we have convinced ourselves our thoughts don't matter then we end up paralyzed and bitter towards the world.

This blog is to help me convince myself that my thoughts matter, and to challenge myself to make those thoughts count.

That's why I'm blogging.