Lunch - Wendys Jr Bacon Chee
Dinner - probably crackers & cheese and wild cherry pepsi
Eraser
I bought a new computer a year and a half ago. I have maybe 50 documents saved to the hard drive, a couple pictures and some music. But somehow the startup disk is full. It's really pissing me off because I intentionally use this thing sparingly to avoid this exact problem.
So I did some research and downloaded a program to help me sweep my hard drive. Turns out my computer has automatically been saving old versions of itself and old versions of my iPhone nonstop. Like it's constantly backing itself up and saving these old memories somewhere deep in the recesses of it's hard drive. This action has an extremely negative effect on my computer's function and capacity. Dumb.
The program I downloaded helped me clear up this problem. It helped me erase the bad, keep the good and get my computer back to it's high functioning capabilities.
Similar to a computer, humans are extremely vulnerable to falling into the habit of practicing automatic backups. We store old versions of ourselves, old memories, that often times serve no purpose other than to hinder our functionality.
You can really torment yourself if you allow yourself to live in those old memories. You can reread every email and text, or maybe stare at an old picture for way too long. A self-inflicted haunting, if you will.
I've admitted before that I'm an avoider and a runner. Another thing I'm happy to admit is that I'm an eraser.
I say I'm happy to admit this because it's actually a healthy thing for me. Erasing the right things allows me to function at a higher capacity, just like my computer. For me, when something is over it's over. Texts, emails, pictures, letters. Boom, gone. Whether this is an innate personality trait of mine or if it's something I downloaded to my brain along the road of life, I have no idea. But I'm glad it's something I do.
Right now you might be thinking that I'm an arrogant jerk. That I don't understand what you've been through and that it's inconsiderate of me to suggest that you are capable of simply erasing your past. Bear with me, that's not what I'm saying at all.
Over the past year and a half of my whirlwind-changing life, I've learned through the practice of erasing that some bad is in fact good. Some of the crud is necessary and should be kept. For instance, there are a few pictures that I've left. Pictures I wanted to erase or delete but didn't. Why? Because of what I see in that memory. I look at my face and can see things in my eyes, things that remind me of how I felt at that exact moment, which in turn reminds me why I made the decisions I made. These memories, these backups, reaffirm me that the path I took to get to where I am today was in fact the right path. And that is a good thing, so it should not be discarded.
I don't keep old pictures or letters to look at them and haunt myself. I keep them to remind me of who I was and how close I was to being someone I didn't want to be. I use them as motivation to push on thru to the next level and enhance my high functioning capacity.
Erase the bad, keep the good and move forward.
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